Sometimes I feel lonely alone, or alone lonely, sometimes I don’t know the difference.

Sometimes I feel lonely. And when I have shower in the evening and I fart I feel instantly ashamed for a moment, because of the nonexistent woman outside the bathroom on the bed; maybe she is reading a book and now on her way to leave, after all these years.

Sometimes I feel lonely and I want to hug a big bear and eat chocolate. That sounds sexuell, probably because it is, like loneliness.

Sometimes I feel left alone and I want to write a farewell letter, to feel closer to what still holds me to life.

Sometimes when I feel lonely I masturbate to feel less empty.
Sometimes loneliness swallows me, then I can not masturbate.

Sometimes I feel lonely and I would like to have a piano, and the ability to play on it, and I would sit in distance and stare at it, and listen to the keys resonating inside of me.