Dear former home,
Back in my hometown.
Pale gazes surrounding.
Globes like flat walled horizons.
Mouths, monsterous throats.
Talking cows shitting a feast.
Furious self-abuse ulcerating from all pores of what they call their life, their right, their privilege, their freedom of everything. Their righteous conformity, their responsibility to protect the limits of normality.
Hair of madness, curling poison of superficiality.
Butchered limbs desiring to split up my breast and snatch my heart, my passion, my freedom, my I-want-to-live-so-fuck-off-and-die – somewhere far far away from me and others, alone in the dark, because nothing else you deserve, you hate spitting curse for men.
Reality is, I am sorrounded by sheeps, staring at me, pointing their chubby fingers at me, whispering codes of despair – “how can you walk around like this?” “look at him, look at this freak.” “For god´s sake!” – to confirm their trueness, their lack of respect, empathy, sympathy and everything what would make this world to a better place, in fact. My anger is endless, pleasing to be released, to burn them. Hell, you all shold burn in my fire! You are not worth the air you breath. You racist cunts. Excuses are to find, fear is the most popular and also most reasonable one, but why I should. For a bunch of neglecting-existence haters. For men, who would raise their arms and hail any kind of guidance just not to be not guided, to be on their own, to think by their own, to fail, to learn, to appreciate the diversity of being. I pity you, I pity you from the bottom of my scorn. You are dirt. You are the reason why I will never return to live in this mudhole, in this close-up of racism, mindlessness and hazardousness. I am ashamed to be human, the same species of being, watching you, how you watch me, empty and lost in the void of fear. For the first time since years I feel the desire to burn myself again, in front of you, of you, men, not to scare you and not for the silly try of enlightenment, only because I can´t stand to be wih you, I don´t have the strength to be with you anymore, to endure constantly your falsehood and be burried in the same grounds. My ashes shall wind into the universe of ignorance. You make me weak, you weaken yourself, you weaken everything, development, improvement, evolution, harmony, peacefulness and a possible spark of freedom – as an approach… than the opportunity to protect your weakness. But you choosed to be not important to anything which is bigger than anyone. I wish you drown quickly in your ignorance, I wish you not to suffer long as this would cause more harm to the universe than the big bang.
There is no excuse, and no means, NOT AT ALL, not one little tiny option of justifying racism and your idleness to use what once in the early days was discovered as a tool of manipulation and to understand manipulation and to fight for a better world. So you dumb fuckers, start to use your brain!