What does the world need. What is “world”. The world which is ours. Only. Which we create, create and shape with every choice we make. We decide. We decide who decides for us. And they established a system to structure our decisions. To streamline. To perform. Better, faster and more efficient. High higher highest productivity. The boiler is glowing. Exploitation. Permanent robbery. Consumption of the consumer. Production of consumption. Endless production lines. Masses of everything. Massive masses. “Ups, sorry I just swallowed you up.” Pockets paying heavily. Serve to protect. Protect the servants. “Yes Sir!” Frontlining. Seperating. Dividing. Manipulating. The color of money and blood are the fertilizer of this world. To evolve. To improve. To complete. To compete. With us. We doesn´t exist. The world doesn´t exist. Existence doesn´t exist. Only the singularity of self-absorption. No reality, not even close.
A screaming kid. One of hundreds, thousands. Bleeding. Its parents sticky pieces of flesh clotty in her hair. Reality. Our reality. We create. This. Prefering us, our needs, demands of happiness, joy and fulfillment. The world and its executioners promised you this, right! Human life is a promise itself. You also want to be… everything you don´t deserve. Nobody deserves anything until the last screaming kid finds solace, a peaceful embrace. We don´t deserve existence. We don´respect being. We control it, like any other partial bit of the concepts of THE world. An ongoing script, “Humans attacking – Part 2017” and its only repetition. Director dismissed after pilot. Fuck originality. Live propaganda stream. Branded world, allover. A true man show.
The show of all shows. Reality TV for real.
No, you don´t deserve anything and nothing is due to you, only the fact of life.
“Together we are a nation.” Together we are only racists. Seceders. Haters. Loosers. Scumbags. Together we are alone.
How can you feel pride? How can you feel dignity? Or success. Or freedom. How can you feel you you you looking around. You make me sad. Sick. You make me hate myself for being you. For being a scumbag. For taking not decisions. For being weak, self absorbed, disgusted by being not perfect, not being capable of saving the world, having no super powers, but only you next to me. The renewal and approval for being not wrong, for being ok. How do you possibly think you need yourself most and only the privileges of me.
I will never forget her eyes. Gummy. Glazed. Afar. Aged. Naked. Dirty. Thin hair. Her body deborn. She was maybe two years old, hard to tell. And there is a strong probability she is dead today.
The idea of THE world died within..
I spent yesterday 50$ for drinks and friends, for my pleasure and generosity. Today I don’t have the money to buy milk powder for a friends child. And I excuse my feeling of failure with my needs. My life also sucks. I also have the right to have fun. Fun. Is it fun? Do I have the right to have fun? Or does the baby have the right to be safe in our world. To make her belong to your world. What do I want to remember someday, me dancing or me smiling with all my heart.
I am typing on my iPhone7plus having a coffee at a one of these metropolitan coffee shop, enjoying the comfort of AC, watching a street kid collecting trash, looking at me, smiling.

What is wrong with you
You missed place
Buried with all your missed dreams
Of a better you
Of a different you
More pleasure
More happiness
More harmony
More of everything 
And nothing of what makes you today
Except this
Or that
And this also
Especially that you shouldn’t miss
Start all over again
But this time you make it right
More righteous 
Where you turned left you go straight 
Where you went straight you stop 
And think
But don’t think like yesterday
Do think tomorrow
But don’t worry
Stay present
Have faith
Forget about everything
Or don’t 
Remember the good and the ugly
The colors and the emptiness
The blood and the rainbows
Be the rainbow
Be good
And change what has to be changed
Be not arrogant
Be not egoistic 
Be humble
Don’t kill
Don’t exploit
Don’t hurt
Don’t dissipate 
Don’t be human
Or too manlike
Love yourself
Love being
Love beings
Love the universe
But love different
Love more truthfully
Love without limitations
Love not to be loved
But love
Love only
In Japan some believe of you clean up every morning your toilet you will become a beautiful person, inside and outside.
Keep that
Delete the rest of believes
Don’t believe 
Don’t reign
Don’t oppress
Remove all boundaries
Install freedom
Free all
Bring peace
Keep the ying
Fuck the yang
Be naked
Be porn
Breath with all your orifices 
Let all your hair grow
Be natural
Be moss
Be super
Be supernatural
Be not human
Don’t define
Let being be
Live with the flow
Fart against the wind
Spurt behind fences
Shit flowers in front of doors
Eat chicken made of tofu
Treat your cat like an animal
Treat animals like yourself
Don’t be an animal
Be consistent
Don’t work for money
Forget about money
Do all different
Delete all data
Don’t be curious 
Don’t be hungry
Don’t explore
Don’t discover
Don’t escape
And only that
Do not build
Or possess
No production
No solutions
No questions 
Just life and nature
You a part of
Embrace it and feel the universe in each of us.
All what is

You: Fuck you

It´s somewhere in between tragic and funny me having this moment of revelation, hangovered, stoned – no not a vision, I was not even close to what you call consciousness, I was closer to pass out, but I felt it, a feeling of nothing. Betrayed by disgust. Like a stone in your shoe or butterflies in your stomach, but you need to get rid of it, it´s so not healthy, so not endurable and so terribly annoying to an extend. To that moment where you can´t stand it anymore. You want to scream, flail, poke through, breath again. Because I feel disgusted with myself. Not because of the fact that I feel differently than I want to feel – it would just make things so much lighter, but because of these, my thoughts, these rumbling, bleeding, meanness-festering, cold thoughts. How can I think about her in such a surge of denial. – That´s our way to talk us out?! Again! What a shit strategy. For Christ sake, for Christs’ penance. Jesus fucking Christ. This my world is blessed, drowned and soaking in guilt and shame, greed and fame if you believe. – Deconstruction of a romance. Me and the bad guy´s feeling. Me feeling and by that being bad. Bad kid. I love you but not as strong as I should to live with you, to return what your love deserves – purity. What makes you a friend kills you finally. It´s not enough, but it is. Utterly. Get the hell out of there, it won´t get better, right? Deconstruction is brutal. You build all this flourish paradises, one for each, for the dogs, kids, cats, your garage and your two cars, your plans, you paint in colors you do actually hate, but you laugh about it, together, because you are on this trip of being stronger than ever, and more complete than ever. Forever and ever. And one day after forever and everything, this guy drops off a message. I haven´t seen the guy, only a shadow, it was on a sunny day, calm sky, blue noise, yellow fever and a stretch into each other, entangled in love. I picked up the message. Nothing. There was nothing on it, the message disappeared, it was I think never there. And it left nothing. That nothing. A monument of prophecy. And believe it or not, I do not believe, but it nailed me to the cross, stroke by stroke, slowly, the hammer resting on the head, crescendo, resting screams, engraving the distortion of pain in your face, before it winds up again. And you just want that it stops, make it stop. Stop please. But you make sure you don´t fall off again, in the arms of your consolatory torturer, your lover. Don´t forget.

She cut her hair last night. We had sex in the morning. I am still drunk. We love each other more than ourselves. She put on black nail polish. 39 degrees today. I sweat. The dirt sweats. Cats are lying dead and scattered on the cooler floor tiles of the kitchen. Fans are stirring the heat. She is working on her art. Pulling over medical one-use gloves. Watching her conducting her physical perception and mindfulness of being excites me and gives me epically wood, always. Feeling myself makes me puke. Another Sunday under a beheaded palm tree.

Remove humanity.Remove the monsterous human creation humanity. The values and unleashed superiority complex. Remove its ability of self-reflection, self awareness – remove all of it, this assumptions just to separate human from nature, to justify a natural supremacy and surrender. The wrong-by-subjectivity assumption itself. And the ignorance of self creation and the arrogance of eternity. 

And do understand, humanity means nothing. It’s literally not a thing. Your life means nothing, being yourself means nothing. Finding yourself only a product made of nothing. Nothing. We are nothing. Not even a substrate. What you do means nothing but anything to only others.

We all rise to ashes. We decompose. We are only a differently structured form of being fulfilling its purpose. A flower. And if we are only that, we live forever. – A way to survive your ignorance.